Which First Page is Groovier? “Above All, Honor” vs. “Safe Harbor”

8 08 2011

Today we’re looking at the first sections of two of Radclyffe’s books: “Safe Harbor” and “Above All, Honor.” For both selections, read from Chapter One to the first *.

WHICH IS GROOVIER? “Above All, Honor” wins.

Safe Harbor (Provincetown Tales) — Sorry to say, this section did not do much for me. The writing skill is there, obviously, and I would read on. However, you’ve probably noticed from previous blog posts that I’m not crazy about scene setting or weather setting this early in a story. This story could be about anything. Nothing distinctive about this opening. No hook.

Above All, Honor (Honor Series) — This one is better. The hook is there. The conflict is there. The tension is there. However, this is a lesbian story. I would’ve liked to be in the female character’s point of view instead of the (male) assistant director’s. (Assistant director of what, by the way? I assume Secret Service, but it should have been said explicitly.) Also, the female character is “her” or “she.” No name, and that bugged me. Even if I know the names from a previous book in a series or from a blurb, I want to know names as soon as possible. Because of the no name and being in another POV, I didn’t really connect with this female character.

What do you think? Comment and vote! 🙂

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One response

8 08 2011
jaynes

you teach me things ; )

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